Its hard out there for a pimp

Ladies- Gents-

Relationships are tuff titties. Or maybe only the wrong partners lead to stressful relationships. IDK.

I am on the cliff of breaking up. Do I or Don't I. There's no turning back after I make the leap.

I am perfectly capable of being single. In fact - I enjoy being single. No one to answer to , no one to worry about. No body to fuss over- how to constantly impress them- win their affections- buy them awesome birthday gifts- torturous holidays with their family. Tolerating their obnoxious emotionally immature and perverted friends.

Being single I only have to worry about me... its the most selfish bliss ever.
Wake up when I want- do what I want- go where I wanna go- any time and with any one.

Only bad thing- is as amazing as that sounds- it is extremely lonely. After all life is love, and if that's what you're lacking- you tend to stress over it. Especially if all your friends have husbands, boyfriends, kids, live in other cities.. etc.

So I've been creating some distance- trying to figure out my move.
Everyone deserves to feel loved- that's why you get into a relationship in the 1st place- so when that falters- it makes you question your entire commitment and the future.



I mean I'm not getting any younger. Ultimately, I want to be married and have children of my own. But I also want a good man who puts me 1st and communicates and treats me like the amazing woman I am, and would do anything for me.

UGH- breaking up sucks. Ive never done it. Why cant he just be a great boyfriend?!

Season has changed- Summer is here

A few thoughts Id like to share. What in the world was wiener thinking? He has a beautiful wife. He has made a great career for himself- all that and still his lil wiener had to wander.

I just don't get it. Is no relationship sacred anymore? Can humans be monogamous? I know we are like the most sexual creatures on earth so it makes me cringe at commitment- but also long for it as well. So dang confusing.

I think women for the most part are just wired for long term. Men are wired to have wandering wieners. Its our Genes. In fact - after the human Genome Project was completed - Scientists have discovered that only a small amount of the DNA we have actually makes us who we are- the rest of it is just inactive filler.





The Dana Scully in me would say that this is the Alien DNA in us all.

The truth is out there. I know I took a tangent-but hey life is about surprises.

Go mavs! Game 4 against the Heat.

Basketball and Stilettos

Good Monday morning to ya.

Had a long relaxing weekend. Went to a MAVS game- we whooped ass!...where its the new thing to go way overdressed..but only for chicks. I mean..dress and heels is not the attire for a professional basket ball game. what happened to a ponytail sneakers and jeans??

These Dallas babes never cease to amaze me with their beauty standards. Its ridiculous.

I'm all for heels. in fact I hope to own some killer Christian Louboutins some day....but i am aware of the beauty standard it is trying to make me meet. Tall with long great skinny legs and heels help to achieve this look..i know. but I'm cool with that, I like to wear heels and make up, but only when i want to. and that's the point. and that's why it empowers me and other chicks that sport sexy stilettos.

made dinner for my man tonite..well i tried . E for effort is what i always say. I am the antithesis of a house made Martha. haha. However, I admire that woman's house/food/crafts/savvy. I wish i too could create mouthwatering delicious meals for my loved ones. Another goal- to buy a cookbook and learn and hone in on some cooking skillz. Going to the mans family's for thanksgiving- gonna have to bring a dish.- gotta show my skillz in tha kitchen so they can sleep more soundly.. haha not really. hopefully my smartz, sense of humor, athletic ability and professional and scholastic accomplishments will prove more valuable than my crappy attempt at green bean casserole.

Speaking of professional accomplishments. I am awaiting an important phone call from a very prestigious media publication here in Dallas about a job opportunity. Went through the interview process last two weeks- sent in my auth for my background check----hopefully that felony falls under their radar(kidding )

And even if I do get the call - I have to be at work at 545 ready to serve people at my restaurant job with a smile...uuuuugghhhh. I'm so over it. but gotta keep the lights on.

But I'm happy I am an independent woman. I pay for everything I have, everything I own, everything I do, the clothes on my back, down to my cell phone and insurance..which by the way i don't have any health insurance right now.OBAMA Women need health insurance! We should get free lady visits and bIRTHcONTROL for life..it just seems like a human rights issue to me.

Anywho - i know lots of women my age, and older whose parents still foot the bill for the basics and luxuries in their life. Free rent? free shopping? free gas? oh my god - thats just crazy talk but to a lot of my friends-its the norm. Im like struggling to pay everything- down to the penny!!! which is why i recently purchased a book from Suze Orman about how better to manage my money. Love her!

Seems not fair but i have to know - that this will make me stronger in the long run-or very bitter.

Anywho- hopefully next post I ll have a salary.

Good Nite world! o and good job cowboys! we whooped ass too!

Attempting blogging from my iPhone

Attempting blogging from my iPhone

New Whip

well this is really big deal for me. I have been driving the same car since I was 16 years old. 1996 White Ford Mustang. I LOVED my sweet ride. She was so good to me. Countless wrecks, tickets, dings, scratches, long runs with out insurance, I slept in her a couple times. I jammed out every day. one time I even peed on her ( UTI gone awry) I got her up to 120 on the highway- shes a bad pony!

We had some good times and she had a long run. She committed suicide about a month ago in the middle of an intersection. Thank God for the people in my life that have a lil money and helped me out. My father gave me a small loan and my boyfriend chipped in the remainder. The Daddy Bank is charging me 1% interest for 3 years and my boyfriend and I have arranged a way for me to work off that money. :) I LOVE MY NEW CAR!!!!!

like the 1st day of school

Soooo....We live in the age of information. Access 24/7 to everything. I am not one to follow a crowd or partake in a trend just because everyone else is doing it.

I am not that easily influenced. I do my due diligence. I have to have some genuine interest. However I will admit when it comes to technology I am a puppy dog for it..as soon as i see it..I am a 2 yr old screaming in the toy aisle before i even know what it does or how it functions...

I have been keeping a journal since I was in middle school, so about the 7th grade...a couple years may have been lost because I stopped writing or I lost the diary all together...

And actually even though my diary's were my own private belongings- my mother would find them and I would get in trouble for what i wrote about what i was experiencing or thinking...

So why not just share with the world? It has been getting me in trouble even when it was for my eyes only. One of my goals in life is to motivate and inspire. And if I can do it by sharing my stories and thoughts with the world via blogging..I am all about it.

So here we go. just a little back ground about me...

I am a twenty something (I take that back- I am proud of my age and do not get why women hate saying how old they are. I AM TWENTY FIVE) SMU recent graduate living on her own in DALLAS Texas. In the words of Donna Summer- Working hard for my money...the very little I have.

I am a waitress at night serving the usual suspects- Dallas Douche bags(who have rightfully earned that title) and Dallas Dingbats( I would usually say Whores there..but I am trying to refrain from calling a woman a derogatory woman term if I can at all help it)

The recent economic downturn has forced me into the service industry even though I have a degree in International Studies from a prestigious private university. Because even though I have the degree- I do not have the mommy and daddy , and Greek letters on my Louis Vuitton book bag that usually coincide with SMU and its reputation.

What I do have is an opinion, a brain, the motivation, and a good sense of humor if i can say so myself.